Day 9

A lot of the patients who show up during my shift are angry, slightly over middle-aged males. They're typically intoxicated somehow, bloody, and their feet smell terrible. They're usually not in any incredible danger or anything, just need to have their wounds dressed and maybe given some pain meds.

My handwashing experience from last week came to mind. I washed the hands of an overworked mother, the type of person for whom it is easy to show compassion. But this morning I asked myself, what about the people who aren't so easy to love? What about these angry men who, instead of supporting their families, manage to get themselves into trouble in the wee hours of the night? Do they deserve the same compassion I showed the woman last week? Is it up to me to decide how much of my compassion they deserve? It really got me thinking.

People who choose to enter health professions, particularly emergency medicine, are getting themselves into a whole lot more than writing prescriptions and giving out lollipops as children go home. I mean on the one hand, so many people want to be doctors and nurses because they want to "help people." I myself overlooked the fact that helping "people" really means helping everybody who needs help, not just the cute kids and self-sacrificing parents and sweet grandparents. This realization has convinced me that I've been pretty naive thus far in my perception of medicine.

This experience in the ER is helping me learn how to see all people as just people. It's teaching me how to turn away from where people came from and what brought them to the hospital and just understand that they are there because they need help, and as human beings they deserve a chance at having their health restored.

My mom has this uncanny ability to look at people and decide whether she likes them or not just based on what she sees at first sight. I would be lying if I said that this didn't rub off on me at all; I do the same to my own extent. This is a habit I must get rid of if I'm going to be a successful doctor. Whether or not I like someone has nothing to do with the kind of health care they receive, nor can it impact the quality of health care I deliver. It truly takes an enormous heart to maintain that. I hope I'm up to it.